DAY 55. MY CROCODILE

I slept wonderfully well; even mosquitos did not bother me much. To my deep regret, my fishing net brought no catch. I should move from this spot, as the water is too deep here. 

I took up my fishing rod even before I could put my trousers on – I was full of hope to finally catch something. What a rush.

One hour later, all I have caught was a tiny minnow. Is that going to be my lunch? That is not much.

I cut it in two pieces and decided to try my luck with piranhas. I set the rod up against the side of the boat and kept myself busy with some household chores. Then there was a splash. Suddenly, the fishing rod is in the water (without a reel it floats, so it involved no risk), and I pick it up.

Here comes the piranha! It is a little smaller than the palm of my hand. It is white with black spots. I have caught such piranhas before in Iquitos. The success lifted my spirits. I tried to catch some more. The pieces of that first fish were quickly eaten, so this time I cut up the piranha for bait. An hour later I had two big, red-bellied piranhas splashing in the bucket. All hail cannibalism! Now I am not going to die a hungry death.

There are monkeys jumping from branch to branch high above me. It is exactly like in one of those National Geographic stories about the flooded forests of the Amazon. It is like I am in one of those documentaries. Bear Grills, are you around?

I went looking for shallow water in the maze of the flooded forest. I waded through the thickets for about thirty minutes until I found a good spot. I measured the depth, and it was still a bit too deep. Then I noticed my mark on a tree. I had spent the night here, but I got back to the spot from the other side! What a disaster.

I took out my compass. I had not walked all around Pucallpa looking for it for nothing, as the compass in my phone and other sensors were out of order after my shipwreck.

The compass worked. I got to some dry land and built a fire. In this part of the lake the forest is so thick that no ray of sun pierces its canopy at all, so it is not so hot. And there are no mosquitoes, I should tell you.

I finally made a hot meal – I cooked the two large piranhas with rice. That is a big pan of food, wow! I do not have my pot anymore as it sank among other things. My dish included stuffed piranhas with rice and some broth. I have not cooked a meal this good in a long time. More importantly, it is quite nourishing. I finished the whole pan in one sitting. I do not feel hungry now. It is a nice feeling.

This is more than merely satisfying my hunger. This is a huge bonus to my morale. True: I have not been able to stock up on fish yet, but I have got other food supplies. All that I need to be satisfied is to find a living crocodile. I will do this tonight.

At first, I watched some local wasps picking the remains of rice from the pan, then they began to cut off pieces of meat from the head and lips of the piranha leftovers, which I left for bait, but then … it was not enough for them! I felt the wasps trying to cut a piece of skin off my leg. I should not mess with them – they obviously can eat me alive!

I tried to fall sleep. I could not. I just cannot stay idle, so I continued my fishing endeavours. I did not get any solid bites, even tiny fish babies escape me, as my tiniest hooks are too large for them. But how pleasant it was to catch gadflies and ants and feed them to fish! It is not as spectacular as feeding sharks, of course, but it is quite entertaining.

For a long time, my boat was plagued by a huge cockroach. It got into every little thing, climbed all over me in the mornings. I had thrown it overboard for many times and it would always come back. BUT NOT TODAY! Now I feel like a villain.

I caught one big piranha, which is not much, but I had a good time. I have never seen a perkier fish! Pulling it out of the water was a real pleasure, especially with my ultralight rod. Regular perches cannot be even compared to it.

It got dark. I tried to take a nap again to get up later at night well-rested, but I could not. Besides, I decided that crocodiles should be more active right after sunset, because they rest all day and wait for nightfall to start hunting. Just like me today.

I check the batteries in my two torches, and tie one of them around my neck, because it is more reliable that way.

And now, this man – who as a child was panic-stricken of the dark and loved horror films with crocodiles and sharks at the same time – is paddling in a small canoe through a dark flooded forest. The water beneath me is 3 to 10 metres deep, I can only see tree crowns and the burning eyes of spiders and frogs all around. They are easy to distinguish from the more dangerous inhabitants, because they are green. As I understand it, eyes are like traffic lights, at least here. Green means relatively peaceful creatures, yellow means ‘be careful’, red means that I should not go near the creatures. The eyes of a crocodile, according to local stories, are red.

At some point, I realised that I had changed my grip on the paddle. Now my hand rested closer to its middle. It is the unknown. I do not want to keep my hands above open water even for a moment. They say that there are black caimans here, and these are the most aggressive and largest crocodiles in the world.

I wander through the labyrinthine forest, consulting my compass now and then. To my surprise, at some point I even begin to orientate myself in this jungle. For a moment I notice a bright orange eye about 100 metres away from me. I am struck with fear as the eye disappears in the next instant. Who is the hunter and who is the prey now? It looks like that spot is exactly where I should be going!

At that very moment, two large fish make a splash right by the boat. I look around and my trousers are wet. Ha-ha – no, it is the water coming off the oar. I am scared, of course, but not that scared. Not yet!

I check the time – it has been an hour, but to me it felt more like four. The forest is amazingly quiet. I can hear the flapping wings of the bats that have accompanied me all the way. There is a crunch of branches in the distance and there is a splash of some fish. There is an incessant hunt going on underneath me.

There it is, that orange eye again! I paddle slowly towards it, but this time the creature is in no hurry to hide. What is it that high up? In a tree? It is a snake! I get very close and spot a white tree boa constrictor that does not even bother to move. It looks like it is waiting for some prey, too. That is right, then. My traffic lights metaphor is working.

I have been travelling through the maze of the forest for three hours now. I would like to turn some music on to lift my spirits, but I do not let myself blur my sensations with the sound so that they do not lose their sharpness and depth.

Gradually, I seem to blend in with the forest and begin to silently navigate through the thickets. I am now clearly aware of where I am. It seems that I am now a predator here.

In the lily pads in the distance, I notice a larger eye. Now it is orange, then it is purple. Hmm. Slowly I paddle up, keeping the torch on the red eye. Closer and closer. 10 metres. 5 metres. 3 meters. IT IS A CROCODILE! A real one! I get so close to it that I can clearly distinguish a small head that is just barely visible, sticking out of the water. It stares at me as if it is mesmerised. The torch is on it. Another metre to go, and I think I can reach out to it. A question arises in my mind: should I try to catch it, or should I take a photo?

The choice is obvious. I do not know what will happen next, but I decided for myself a long time ago that I will neither catch nor kill without need – without the need to eat it. So, I pull out my phone and take a picture. The very next moment the crocodile disappears under the water, its bright eye vanishing from sight.

I am inexpressibly thrilled. Ever since I was a kid, I have dreamed of a crocodile. And here it is, at arm’s length! More importantly, I have overcome my fear. Darkness is one thing, but a dark forest is quite another. And if it is a dark flooded forest, where you are just a guest in a tiny canoe, and there are definitely crocodiles significantly larger than you and your vessel here – well, this is something quite mad and unbelievable!

After this experience, I know for sure that I deserve to wear my crocodile fang amulet. Not as a symbol marking a hunter and a murderer, but as a reminder of my inner struggle with my fears and of the journey that I have made.

Happy and elated, I return to my campsite, to the spot where my fishing net is set up. I did not even have to use the compass once – so well had I learned these woods.